Welcome to my journey.
I realized this morning that this, whatever it is, could be called a new journey. It could also be called an attitude adjustment. Whatever it is, it stated well this morning. I had the longest, hottest shower in recent memory. I asked Sean to take Lexi to school and her responded with "Should I walk Russell too?" I almost teared up because at that moment it was the most romantic thing he could have said. Do I deserve him?
I then preceded to make a nice healthy smoothie. I have gotten out of the habit of making these mostly because I don't really like them and its noisy and messy but I know that they are good for me. This journey is about taking care of myself so I will drink yucky smoothies.
The office.
step one: remove the empty rum and coke glass and cheezie bag from last night.
step two: just start.

Happy April.
As this spring time begins I find myself  looking forward to the fading of the Feb/March blues. The blues go away every year about now, hang in there honey, have faith, you will be ok.
Another typical symptom of spring is the scattered brain. Today for example the average minute contained thoughts of the office, an apartment in Paris, the house work, how am I going to learn french in one year?, what are we going to have for dinner, graduation, sea soil, I think I will google the districts of Paris, invisalign, I should really shower soon, where is the dog?, I am so having my coffee outside to day, this office sucks, should I call that life coach?, what day is!?!, its okay..I'm good...it's not Wednesday yet, what am I going to do for dinner?, I should order a yoga bolster, how can it be 5 o'clock already?, my ears hurt, maybe if I draw something...., i have got to get to bed earlier today, I should blog today.
There a number of things I know that I should be doing daily to help myself feel more happiness. One of those things happen to be journaling. Blogging is a form of journaling. I have been trying to journal in a traditional way with a pen and a notebook. I have also been dabbling in art jounaling using a sketch book and multiple mediums. I am going back to blogging simply because I always know where my computer is and the keyboard doesn't stain my clothes.
In an attempt to take control of the mental health storm I have decided to address my office first. This is a space that I spend a great deal of time and apparently a uncluttered and organized space is a happy space. It's true, I have actually experienced this phenomenon a few times in my life.

                 

This needs to be addressed. Get it? All that mail...addressed? Hahahahahah.

     

There needs to be art here and this most certainly is not art. (except for Bill there in the top left)

This is just embarrassing. What is even in all those binders? 

 



There needs to be plants on that window sill.

                                     

This is my work space not a dumping ground for outdated computer bits. How did this happen?

Lighting, that's what I need, bright and pretty lighting.

This is not a mud room people!








And that is why I take a very deep breath each morning as I hold on firmly to my cup of coffee and say "I'm going to the dungeon now"
But no more. This stops today. Well tomorrow. Right now I am going to go to bed while I still consider it to be early. Wish me luck.

This is what happens when you blink

It's all a matter of perspective I know, but it is amazing to me, time.
Sometimes I close my eyes to remember the day we started this little family, it was a life time ago, a million years ago, I remember it clearly but like it's like a view of a mountain range from the top of a snow covered peak. So beautiful and so far away,
Then, in the interest of a good paradox, moments like to day occur and simply take my breath away. I thought that when she turned 16 I was going to feel something momentous but I didn't. Maybe because there were too many people around, maybe there were too many summertime festivities going on, maybe it was because Sean was away, maybe it was because she was reeling from the idea of turning 16 and was feeling so needy, probably it was because I was expecting something to happen. Things like this never happen when you expect them to.
But today, today as I sat beside Sean in the waiting area of the driver licencing office and watching her go through the process of getting her learner's driving licence it happened. I can not believe my baby girl has grown up so fast. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was strapping her into a front facing car seat? Tears threatened, my chest expanded with pride, I had the goofy mama smile plastered across my face. I can't put it into words but I can tell you this, it was Momentous.

Sweet sixteen baby girl.

Well, I did it.

I've gone and done it now. 
I've registered for the "Cultivating Courage" course at Superhero Life. I got my preparation papers, I read the questions then promptly put it all away to address later.The simple fact that preparing for this courage course freaks me out....is freaking me out. Am I going to be able to do this? How did I get to this place where everything is scary? I used to climb mountains and kayak rivers for goodness sake.

On a lighter note, I made vegetarian chilli tonight. I learned that my family does not like cumin and if I keep this up I may have a revolt on my hands. Do I dare move forward with lentil shepherds pie tomorrow?

Hello October

It's nice to see you again.
What shall we do this month?
Explore some vegetarian meals? That thai soup tonight was good.
Cultivate some courage? I could use a little of that.
More yoga? Hhmm, sounds nice.
Create something beautiful? Alright.
Embrace October? I did sit on the porch and savour a mocha this afternoon, I must say October, you are looking mighty fine.

The 10th of November

I love it when the universe plans things out just for me. Today I wanted to attend the Remembrance Day Ceremonies at both schools but I thought that the overlap in times would make it impossible. But nothing is impossible! I drove from one to the other without missing a beat. The timing could not have been more perfect. Thank you to the powers that be for understanding how important those ceremonies are to me.

Source: google.ca via Andrea on Pinterest

The 9th of November

What an amazing day!

Oh the amount of great things that happened today.

1. Sean the Great did not have to run off to the job site super early this morning thus allowing him to join me in my walk with the dogs.

2. He was then able t bring me "My Thai" for lunch between meetings. What a treat.

3. I was able to get the PAC minutes typed up and emailed to the PAC chair today, the best part of that is, the meeting was only last night. The last two month I was typing up the minutes the day of the next meeting. So I am really proud of myself for breaking my procrastinating cycle this time.

4. My cherished friend from days gone by phoned me today, it has been a couple of years since we spoke. This was the happiest moment of my day. I miss you friend.

5. I was true to myself tonight. I remembered my commitment to focus on my emotional health this month. I said no to a policy 1100 parent meeting (after I had already said yes) and I went to a meditation for healing class. I was the only one that showed up for this class so I felt kind of awkward at first but the meditation was enlightening and the woman who lead the class was perfect.

6. I had a good laugh over this one, after close inspection of my life around me I came to realize that there were no other signs that I had entered a parallel universe so I looked for answers elsewhere and found that I did not, in fact, miss a day. I counted the 5th twice. BAHhahahah... I could edit it but I read something recently about finding the beauty in our mistakes.

7. I started reading "The Tibetan Art of positive thinking" last night. I only made it through the introduction and a couple pages of the first chapter before I fell asleep but I am going to believe that this knowledge has already had an impact on me. A Positive impact. (see what I did there?)

I have to say that this month is really looking good. Only one sad day. The house is still a mess. There is still a pile of mail on my desk. But I feel good. I feel really good.

Source: bitsotruth.blogspot.com via Elizabeth on Pinterest